My 5 Least Favorite Celebrity Chefs

Posted by Courtney |


Here is a list of my least favorite celebrity chefs.

5. Giada De Laurentiis
Her head is far too big for anyone's good, and I just can't get past it. I have no idea if she's a good chef because I can't stand looking at her long enough to see what she's doing.

4. Michael Smith
Oh. My. Gosh. A Canadian celebrity chef, Michael Smith is the king of the oats. Seriously. This guy is 10 foot 9 and more fully new age than Enya. He spends his half hour on the Food Network adding barley and oats to all our favorite recipes, rendering them bland and sucky. He might as well spend a half an hour doing a giant interpretive dance to Kumbaya.

3. Ina Garten
The barefoot freaking contessa. Contessa means "Countess" in Italian, but apparently she can't count a flipping thing, because she adds three pounds of butter to every recipe. The Butter Lady, as I like to call her, would add butter and a side of lard to a Jell-O recipe, I swear. Someone ought to tell her how nice it feels to have clear arteries.

2. Christine Cushing
Christine Cushing is another Canadian celeb chef. She has absolutely no personality and she burns almost everything she touches. She is permanently stuck in that teenage girl phase of pretending we love everything the boys do so they'll notice us. She doesn't really like the Toronto Maple Leafs, and she doesn't really know how to cook. The funniest episodes of her show are when she has guests and the guests aren't working fast enough to fit the time slot before commerical, and you can see her grit her teeth and you know she's using every last ounce of will power she has not to stick her guest with a stainless stell kebab skewer.

1. Rachel Ray
EVOO? Stoop? Have you ever noticed how, in 30 Minute Meals, when she grabs her ingredients, she can't make two trips? She's got dishes and jars and packs of meat and veggies towering over her head and it's this edge-of-your-seat balancing act until she gets to her work station. What is she trying to prove? That she can carrie more than the Bug in the Ikea commercial? She yells everything, she is so fake and she only cooks ingredients that come in prepackaged jars, cans and bags. I wish there was a garbage bowl big enough...

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Carrie Haggerty said...

Rachael Ray... For serious?? Uncle frank is this a joke? I LOVE her..infact I also Like big head & Butter lady!

Anonymous said...

Rachael Ray is a joke...I don't know one person who is a serious foodist/foodie who can take her. Really, how many times do we have to hear her say EVOO/Extra Virgin Olive Oil. If you are going to tell us what the acronym means, then why are you using it. And wouldn't just calling it Olive Oil be enough...are you really an olive oil snob!
Ina is a snob but makes some great dishes and Giada; boy that issue with her head really bothers some people. Quite frankly I never noticed it cause I was looking at her cleavage!

Anonymous said...

Dude! If you are going to diss someone, at least do a spell check. It's carry....not carrie.

Courtney said...

gotta love the spell check hate. ten bucks says spelltard over here never misspelled a word in his or her entire life.

sure sign of an idiot: can't count to three which is the technical number of dots in an ellipsis.


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